Codependency destroys relationships, causes distress, and can even kill! I once knew of a woman who kept putting off a much needed surgery to care for her father. When he died it was too late for her surgery. Taking care of others, worrying about their feelings and needs before your own, can be a form of codependency. Pia Mellody, in her groundbreaking bestseller and through years of research and clinical experience, details symptoms of codependency.
Many recovering drug addicts report that the high is not only in using drug but in the danger of the chase...wanting it, looking for it, finding it, scoring it and then, of course, the high itself. The same is true for sex addiction and there are many different faces to it...pun intended. One man reported to me that on a recent business trip he was holed up in his hotel room for hours looking to make contact with someone on craigslist. Hours later while waiting for pictures to come through he missed his conference. This form of dissociation is not uncommon. Many with this addiction report spending hours cut off from their feelings, lost in space, and not experiencing reality or being present in life.
As an avid golfer I often reflect on the parallels of the sport and in living. I have found that when I apply what works on the golf course to my life I am happier and more fulfilled and in a much better position to be successful. Take for instance the importance of keeping your head down and eye on the ball when you strike it. This reminds me to stay in the here and now, which is about being calm and present in life.